Getting ready to leave

“[I]t is good to be needy. It reminds us that we are human. It gives us compassion toward others who are needy. And God uses the community to minister to one another. Sometimes the need may be met by a friend who wants to help. It may be a mother, a grandma, a neighbor, a teenager. Or, it may be there really is no one to help. This is an opportunity to trust the Lord.” ~ from Femina

I think this is such a good and hard-to-come-by perspective. We’ve been taught, and I believe, that we should be lights in a dark world, ready to reach out to help others in need. But who wants to be needy herself? I’d say no one. So I can see that is good for us to be needy beyond the point of pretending otherwise, since it keeps us from thinking we have in some way earned our blessings.

I feel like we’re being given many opportunities to trust the Lord right now. :) As of now our condo has not sold, and that is a big fat opportunity to trust. And then trying to sort through insurance, banking, and other such boring but necessary complications in a move overseas is also a big opportunity. And the physical act of getting our stuff packed up or gotten rid of and driving back to Texas before actually moving is another one.

Then, just because change is stressful, I feel pretty aware of my neediness at all times these days. Even in the little things. For example, our cat Cordelia is going to a new home next weekend. I’ve been a little mad at her because I’m getting all sentimental about leaving her and thinking how much I’ll miss her furry cuteness, but she has not been reciprocating. She actually tries to run away from me recently, and she always chooses to sit with Ryan. I tell myself that he is just more comfy because he has a greater surface area, but deep down it bothers me that she doesn't seem to like me so much these days. I’ve tried to imagine a chance reunion in the future, and for awhile I thought it would be like this video, which everyone has probably seen by now.

Her current behavior is making that seem less and less plausible (because it really WAS plausible at first) – or at least it makes it seem like she’ll be happy to see Ryan and then run under the nearest couch when I walk up. I’ve got to work on playing hard to get. Maybe I should start playing Whitney Houston so that she associates that song with me. Anyway, this is just one thing on an endless list of things that really aren’t that big of a deal but that really bother me at present.

In about 3 weeks we hope to be “moved” to Texas, and we’ll fly out from there. R will start work right away, so I’ll be looking for an apartment, trying not to look like a stupid, lost American, and trying to not actually BE a stupid, lost American. And God is providing people to help us. I’ve been emailing a woman who is a teacher and whose husband is a minister there, and they are going to help us get oriented and will even house us for a couple of days when we first arrive. So we’re definitely in need, but we’re cared for, and I do pray for eyes to see the opportunity to trust instead of panic. I’ve never even been overseas. Should be interesting. And the prospect of not working right away and having free museums and parks at my doorstep is pretty inviting. I just pray that we actually get there!

In baby news, our little Asher R. has been making himself known with kicks and summersaults, which for now are fun and reassuring to feel. (Even this can stress me out though – if I go a long time without feeling anything, I start to think something is wrong. It’s like all of life is an equal opportunity stressor right now, even though rationally I realize this is ridiculous.) His name means happy/blessed in Hebrew, and we feel happy and blessed to have him, so it seems appropriate. I figure that if he has a melancholy disposition, he’ll just have to appreciate the irony when he is older.

Here are a few summer photos. Sorry to the eager beavers that I’m not looking very pregnant in them, but I’m pretty obvious in person now.

Love to all!